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when I am 30, I will still be in grad school.  From now, until I'm 30 or maybe even 31, my entire life will revolve around researching and writing 20 page papers.

If there are 2 semesters a year, and I take 3 classes a year, this means each year I will write 180 pages.  This ends up being 1,080 pages (minimum) from now, until I am 30.

Meanwhile, everyone else is working, going to happy hour, buying clothes, going on vacation, buying cars, having hobbies......and I am sitting in my apartment crying and smoking because I got a B on an assignment worth 4% of my grade.

Grad school is awesome.

holy hell people!  Do any of you guys know who Christian Finnegan is?  He used to be a blond, kind of chubby but totally cute comedian who looked like this:



See?  A little chubby, but generally cute and SUPER hilarious!  I was always such a fan!

Anyways, I am now watching Best Week Ever, because I'm supposed to be writing a 20 page paper on Jesus, so clearly BWE is just what I should be watching now.  Anyways, so I'm watching BWE and Christian Finnegan comes on to do the Sizzler as he does and holy crap!  I thought a fucking fake tan creepy ass skeleton was doing the Sizzler, and the whole time I was like "Who IS this guy?!  He's funny, but holy hell, he's awful looking."  and I THOUGHT it was Christian Finnegan, but then I thought I must be wrong, until he said "This is Christian Finnegan" and I realized I was right.  What the hell happened to him????



Okay so this is him now, but on VH1 he's even SKINNER!!  His face looks like a mummy!

WHAT IS THE DEAL?!!?


Oh fuck, now I Love New York reunion show is on....my jesus paper has no hope.

Has anyone ever stayed in a dorm room in a hostel with people they didn't know?  If so, how was this experience?  Did you get robbed?  Was it awesome?  Lame? 

Any thoughts on sharing hostel rooms with strangers would be greatly appreciated.

blades of glory was much better than I expected, but GOB got a little shafted on good lines.

sometimes, when I am drunk, I think it might be nice to have a boyfriend...I dont know why.  maybe because I live alone and get bored.  But really, this is only when I'm drunk, because otherwise VH1 is great company.

I just got done watch The Tudors online, which is a new showtime show about Henry VIII.  It kind of sucked and was kind of okay, I don't know how I feel about it.

However I DO know that Henry VIII played by Jonathon Rhys Meyers is totally hot.  Another thing I don't know  is how the fuck I know who Jonathan Rhys Meyers is, but I somehow do (and no, it's not just from this show.).  But it's a mystery to me how they cast JRM, besides just him being really hot, since he looks nothing like Henry VIII:

 

mildly ridiculous, but I will accept it because I find the above image much more visually pleasing than the lower one.


Well, back to Caravaggio and looking at grad schools again.

Why does the U continue to rape me up the ass on an almost daily basis?  Why?  WHY?!

I hate people who sing karaoke "total ecllipse of the heart" and throw in the "fuckin'" from Old School.  That was funny for about a week after that movie came out...MAYBE even a few months, but shit...YEARS later?!!?  YEARS?!

blech.

So on thursday I gave my first ever presentation as a grad student in a non-school situation.  I had to do a schpiel about Pompeii at the Science Museum for the Educator Preview of their Pompeii exhibit, and it was pretty sweet.  Also sweet was that I got paid 300 bucks for an hour talk.  That is the most money per hour I will probably ever make in my life.  Anyways, the presentation went well and now I feel like an actual graduate student!  Hooray!

On a side note, in under a week I have managed to see three of the WORST movies every made: Smokin' Aces, The Island, and Just Like Heaven.  If anyone liked those movies, I severly question their sanity.  Except for JLH, because I know tons of people like shitty girly movies with smooching and hand-holding and shit, and this movie had that in SPADES.

But if you want an awesome movie recommendation: Deep Blue Sea.  It has sharks, samuel l jackson, ll cool j, thomas jane, and a wise-cracking parrot.  Sweeeeeet.

Arcade Fire, Neon Bible = Great.

If you were wondering what Tony Hale (aka Buster from AD--who I love.) is doing now, I have an update for you.  He currently is co-starring with Andy Richter (who I love) in Andy Barker: PI, which is a sitcome created by Conan O'Brien (who I also I love).

It's a pretty funny show, Buster is by far the most hilarious, basically because he is Buster in trendier clothing.  6 episodes of it are online on nbc.com, so if you have time, or if you're putting off writing up 2 papers and reading 100 pages of garbage on christian art like me, I recommend it.

1. Neon Bible by Arcade Fire comes out!!

2.  Cold War Kids play at the Varsity (which I cannot go to and am SO MAD ABOUT!)

3.  Paper Due

4.  Second paper Due

5.  While CWK are at the varsity, i have to traipse around te state fair looking at windows and figuring out how to repair them for class.

At least I will get Neon Bible though, I'm pumped for that.

So, there was some dude in Wisconsin who was minding his own business in his apartment, when all of a sudden he heard a woman being raped in the apartment above him!  So he grabs a sword (I am not making this up), BUSTS down the door of the apartment upstairs, and finds some guy jacking off to a porno.

I bet you are wondering what this sword-wielding hero looks like:



(I'd like to point out that the official filename of this image from kare11 is "sword porn guy"

My upstairs neighbors are SO lucky that I live below them, and not Sword Porn Guy.

Ugh, there is a pedigree commerical where it shows a bunch of dogs in kennels, and it's kind of sad music and there's a voiceover that goes "I can sit, I can stay, I can roll over, etc.  I know I am a good dog, but what I don't know is how I ended up here"  and then it shows more dogs in kennels, and the sad music is still going, and man, does it ever make me cry EVERY TIME.  Haha, I am crying just thinking about it.  Anyways, I think it is a good commercial because I like anything that supports pet adoption, but man, it makes me cry.

Today the upstairs neighbors almost had FIVE FULL MINUTES OF SEX!  Unfortunately, he peaked at the 4 minute mark.


But there has been marked improvement since last time!

god, I hate winter.

I am going to start tanning.  Maybe the fake sun will cheer me up.

Haha, you know what is exciting?  When you have a mental image in your head of how some singer should look, and then you find out how they actually DO look and it's like your mind just got gang-raped in some alley?!

There are two times I've been so completely floored by how a singer ACTUALLY looks compared to how they looked in my mind.  The first time was Vanilla Ice, because I thought he was black.

The second time just happened.  I looked up Bonnie Prince Billy (aka Will Oldham) and I THOUGHT he would look kind of joaquin phoenix-ish, sort of a quirky hot.  But this is how he looks:


 


Holy shit.  I still can't get over it!  How is this guy, who is either The Missing Link, or some crazy Bushman, capable of singing such beautiful hot sounding songs?! 

So weird.

ugg boots make me want to throttle someone.

Last night I fell down.  Not because I was drunk, but because my shoes were slippery, and the floor was slippery and that was not a great combonation.

In any event, I landed SMACK on my knee (the less gimpy of the gimpy knees), and it hurt so much for a second I stopped breathing.  Then I got up, and like a trooper, kept on going with the night.

Today, I was baffled that there was no bruise on my knee!  I mean, I fall on my knee so hard it knocks my breath out, and there's no bruise?  How odd, right?  RIght.  But then I noticed that A. My ENTIRE LEG is numb, and it is also swollen to twice the size of the other leg.

Fun.


On the plus side, for once I did not end up puking or crying on New Years, so I think I've matured.